Comfort from the temple

Today was Friday (AKA Temple day). I volunteer in the Rexburg Temple Baptistry for 4 hours every week. I had missed my shift the past two weeks and was a little bit nervous to go back to the temple. This semester has been tough. I was suspended from school, which before my appeal would have meant that I would have been dropped from BYUI and I would have had to stay out for a year and get 12 credits at a different college. Since my appeal was granted, I can return in the Fall, but I'm still suspended this semester. Since I can't take classes, I can't work on campus. I have no job, no classes, and I feel like a failure. I had prayed to have my second appeal granted so I could keep the classes I was registered for...but the committee said no. I was so distraught. I couldn't understand why I couldn't try again. But I've been thinking lately that maybe this time is for me to figure out what I really want. Since I've been married, I've kind of lost sight of what I want out of my college experience. I don't know if I really want to be a teacher anymore. I don't know what my talents are or really anything about myself. It's been hard, but I've accepted that this extra 'break' is for me to figure out or rediscover why it is that I want to be a teacher, if I can do it, and what it means to be me. I've attended many conferences given on campus recently and, even though the subject of their lectures varied, they have each given me a piece of the puzzle.

Going to the temple today, serving the patrons there, and really studying my patriarchal blessing have helped me set my feet on the path that I need to take, the road of self-discovery. I don't know where it will go, where I'll end up, but I know it will be in the right place, at the right time.

I haven't found a job yet, though I have been giving service to others multiple times a week. I really should find one soon though. Tyler and I want to go to the Phillipines over one of the breaks that we have from school so he can go see the people that he served on his mission. It will definitely be an interesting experience for me since even in Egypt they still had toilets (even if we did have to bring our own toilet paper).